Chapter 16 Reading

I agree with the idea of revolution being affiliated to theatre. I feel as if most of chapter 16 had an underlying aspect to it which regarded theatre being somewhat, close to a revolution. To start, my notes consisted of things that were mainly focused on future theatrical changes and movements that had gone on through some recent centuries.

Firstly, I had written about the homosexual groups in the past that were closely tied to drama. I felt as if the book was focusing on a lot of different ‘types’ and ‘groups’ in the world that aren’t necessarily ‘normal.’ Not saying that homosexual people aren’t normal, it’s just a little bit out-of-the-ordinary.

What does this have to do with theatre?

It has everything to do with theatre! Theatre is probably the one place a gay person can go to without being judged or being called ‘gay’ or ‘queer.’ Of course, I do know that people nowadays are a lot more intolerant towards racist or homosexual-hating people but I think you get my point.

What else do you mean by theatre being close to a revolution?

Well, it’s weird to know that it’s been only recently where people have taken notice towards the fact that there are way more main characters that are white than those who are of a different race. White people dominate a lot of the world’s images as they have influenced many parts of the world through moments in history. Bollywood is another prime example of a certain race of people dominating Bollywood’s image as being something of an Indian-focused business. What I mean is that there’s always going to be racial profiling going on in the world, but it’s theatre that’s actually trying to get people together one step at a time.

             Why Theatre?

Well it’s the theatre. What production wouldn’t want the cast and the audience to get along side-by-side? How would it work out if the director of a production grouped only the people of same races together, separated from one another in a production? It would suck, and it would make the audience and world sick. So, this all was probably just a small glimpse into what theatre being a revolution might mean…

Could it be?

I was with a family member, who wanted to hear the dialogue between me and my partner, so I had started to read. I was reading my lines for the upcoming play and something kept on eating away at me. For some reason, I didn't feel that magic that I had once felt when reading the lines in a dialogue with my partner. I kept repeating the sentences over and over again and still, I couldn't understand why.

I looked over to my one-man audience and said "...I don't think that I can read my lines without my partner."

It really struck me, this simple sentence. It's that lone thought about magical chemistry being in the presence of the cast members and the synergy that's between all of us on stage that gives me the creeps. We can't see it, but it's all around us. When we speak, talk, move, smile or cry... it's always there.

Could that energy, that light, be God? That same God being in the presence of the cast when we all pray before the show goes on? God being there to comfort you when you feel nervous about going up onto stage?    Can it be, God?

I believe it to be God. A friend once said to me “Don’t think about anything. When you go up there, your eyes… they’ll glaze over. Just look up into the audience, you’ll do fine.”

This was right before I had to go up on-stage and I was feeling nervous. At that time, I thought he was mental. I thought to myself, how could you possibly know your lines without thinking about it? Bullcrap. It was then my queue to go up. The lights all turned off as the new scene was starting, my scene. I started looking lost and frightened as I made my way up at the front of the stage. I tried to remember my lines and run through them as quickly as possible, but they wouldn’t come to mind. I looked up into the dark abyss of where the audience members were, but I just couldn’t see them.

The stage lights slowly all came to life and then there the audience members were. All sitting there, expecting to be entertained, waiting to mock us if we made the slightest mistake. Then my eyes started to freeze. I couldn’t move them out of their fixed position. It was like somebody had taken a small pin needle and stuck it through each of my eyeballs so that they couldn’t move around. My mouth started to move, shooting out my lines. I didn’t even think twice about it, the words just kept coming out as if I had been reciting them for my entire life.

I kept on wondering why, or how it was even possible for me to have known my lines.

Was it God?

I just felt like i should take a note of what happened today.
Callbacks were today and everything went well in my eyes, then something spectacular happened at the end of it all. I was supposed to fill-in for the role Jesus so that a friend could play the role of Judas, but it all turned out into something far more than just a fill-in role. Normally i think of different things when in the role of somebody, but this was different. The role took over me, and my friend's role took over him. It was as if those last minutes of the audition was something real, and not a part of the script.
Today, was truly amazing.

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